Brad and Anne arrived today, and Ben and Jaime came over for dinner. So there was Ben K, Julie, Ben I, Jaime, Anne, Brad, Barry, and Ann, plus Moira and Evie.
Quotes flew from the walls.
Anne:
Oh my god, are you a conservative?
from out of the blue during a discussion of presidential candidates:
Did you guys hear about Britney Spears' little sister???
Jaime:
her helpful suggestion about why there were so many special needs things in Antigonish:
Maybe it's because they're inbred.
I have ovaries of steel, basically.
Me:
"...and I'm like Switzerland."
"I'm on a search for spirituality.... I am; it's just not going very well."
"You know your family's weird when you say, 'Do you see me?' and they think you're being existential."
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
So many quotes
so feel free to skip on ahead. You'll notice, also, that I added a "Quotes" label. So I now have Art Studio, Quotes, and Christmas List. Considering how much I used to make fun of labels, I certainly am using them a lot....
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior
Henke: So what are you guys up to these days?
Student A: Drinking.
Henke: Drinking? There's got to be more to it than that.
Student B: ...What are you up to?
Henke: As kids say, I asked you first.
I think I mentioned...you ought to read the book.
We're going to be talking mostly about rat sex.
Henke: Why are you slow, Miss Fateau?
Miss Fateau: I don't know, Pete.
And that's the story of the rat sex.
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
They needn't have been a serial killer. Someone who beats people to death with Cheerios...yeah...I don't know.
We run into existential roadblocks like miserable parents, professors who hinder you...stop you from reaching your "full flowering."
...self-actalua....self-actalau...self-realization.
"I realize now that I have sexual feelings for my boa constrictor"...or you just had half a jar of gherkins before you went to bed. I mean, there are dreams, and then there are dreams.
example of why horoscopes are generally quite upbeat:
Sagittarius: Today, you're going to act like the complete shit that you've always been. And you're dog is going to puke on your nice carpet.
If Diogenes were around today, you could bet he would have been leading some cult of wombats out in the woods.
Dogs will eat anything and sleep anywhere...sounds a bit like students, doesn't it?
everything from here on out is from one class today
Double vision again...gotta stop those lunchtime whiskeys.
It was dwelling in this realm of pure form, or pure spirit, or pure rubbish...whatever.
They're always shoving spears in unpleasant places for the sake of honor.
You step on some guy's foot in the street, he slaps you with his glove, and it's pistols at dawn.
Virtue, standing firm, walking tall...whatever sort of Clint Eastwoody stuff you'd like to chuck in there.
God is sending you locusts...or whatever the hell he's doing this year.
It's sort of icky. I forget how to say that in Greek. Icktheus[sic]....something to do with fish....
You make a little clearing in the forest of your mind, sort of as a landing pad for God's UFO. You guys think I make this stuff up on the spot, but really I was 15 hours last night on google.
I'm really outdoing myself today. I wish I'd brought my tape recorder. He said, modestly.
At the top of the podium, God, number one, in the blue trunks.
Souls...kind of like God's traveling salesmen.
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior
Henke: So what are you guys up to these days?
Student A: Drinking.
Henke: Drinking? There's got to be more to it than that.
Student B: ...What are you up to?
Henke: As kids say, I asked you first.
I think I mentioned...you ought to read the book.
We're going to be talking mostly about rat sex.
Henke: Why are you slow, Miss Fateau?
Miss Fateau: I don't know, Pete.
And that's the story of the rat sex.
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
They needn't have been a serial killer. Someone who beats people to death with Cheerios...yeah...I don't know.
We run into existential roadblocks like miserable parents, professors who hinder you...stop you from reaching your "full flowering."
...self-actalua....self-actalau...self-realization.
"I realize now that I have sexual feelings for my boa constrictor"...or you just had half a jar of gherkins before you went to bed. I mean, there are dreams, and then there are dreams.
example of why horoscopes are generally quite upbeat:
Sagittarius: Today, you're going to act like the complete shit that you've always been. And you're dog is going to puke on your nice carpet.
If Diogenes were around today, you could bet he would have been leading some cult of wombats out in the woods.
Dogs will eat anything and sleep anywhere...sounds a bit like students, doesn't it?
everything from here on out is from one class today
Double vision again...gotta stop those lunchtime whiskeys.
It was dwelling in this realm of pure form, or pure spirit, or pure rubbish...whatever.
They're always shoving spears in unpleasant places for the sake of honor.
You step on some guy's foot in the street, he slaps you with his glove, and it's pistols at dawn.
Virtue, standing firm, walking tall...whatever sort of Clint Eastwoody stuff you'd like to chuck in there.
God is sending you locusts...or whatever the hell he's doing this year.
It's sort of icky. I forget how to say that in Greek. Icktheus[sic]....something to do with fish....
You make a little clearing in the forest of your mind, sort of as a landing pad for God's UFO. You guys think I make this stuff up on the spot, but really I was 15 hours last night on google.
I'm really outdoing myself today. I wish I'd brought my tape recorder. He said, modestly.
At the top of the podium, God, number one, in the blue trunks.
Souls...kind of like God's traveling salesmen.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
a little post and a lot of quotes
I've been itching to post for ages, but somehow the time escapes me. That's odd, considering that I really feel like I do nothing.
First, let me say. If there are three bathroom stalls in a row, who in their right mind goes in and picks the middle stall? You go in, all three are empty, and you pick the middle stall? I walked into the restroom, and this girl was in the middle stall, forcing me to pick a stall next to where she was. If, like a normal person, she had chosen one of the end stalls, I could pick the other end stall, and we wouldn't be in a stall next to each other. But no. She forced me to go into a stall next to her, whoever this girl was, because of her poor stall-picking choices. Wow, I've been calling these stalls the entire time, but now that word sounds completely wrong. Anyways, yes, this is just about one of the weirdest things to decide to care about...possibly ever.
hmm...if this were one of those bathroom stalls where the dividing walls were three inch concrete and went all the way down to the floor and up to the ceiling, that would be fine.
Second, I know everyone and their mother is familiar with Milgram's famous shock experiments, and they're always brought up in discussion of ethics. I can't tell you how many times I've heard how unethical these experiments were, and how they can never be repeated (except for that one guy who semi-replicated them recently with a little twist, but ignore that). They're held up almost as a shining example of ethics violations. However! I would repeat the Milgram experiment in a second. Ethics be damned.
Time for some professorial quotes:
Dr. Watt, Abnormal Psychology
You're worse than offenders. Inmates trust me more than you guys.
We used to be able to do all sorts of wonderful things as psychologists. We gave people LSD and made little babies frightened of white fuzzy things. Those were the good old days, before ethics boards.
There's something fundamentally wrong with me.
I could have a dance in my waiting room (she was talking about how oddly large it is)
I've threatened my husband he's not to post nude photos of me on Facebook is there's a breakup.
Dr. Watt: And what happened?
student: Sprained ankle. It's your fault.
Looong long story short, she ended up in prison (talking about girl's parents who reinforced her behavior by taking her out of school)
Ideas for solution to hypothetical situation on how to get a girl with sudden onset of a fear of flying onto the plane (so clearly the usual options aren't possibilities):
-Just put her in the plane.
-Sedate her and force her in the plane. As long as she's alive it's okay.
-Are you going to induce PTSD to get her there?
-We'll pay for the therapy later!
A really engaging, really bright, quite psychopathic young girl.
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior
Make sure they teach you right. (I don't remember this context at all)
It's pretty hard to see the difference between three and four. You gotta have imagination to see it, and I don't have it. So I just call it three and four. (talking about sleep)
I'm on the way down as far as neuronal growth.
Henke: I'm like a border collie...circling...
student: ...sheep?
Henke: Sheep?! Why sheep? Why not goats?!
DISINHIBITION!!!!!
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
Not you clever people in here, thinking deep thoughts from morning til night, but those wombats out there on the street.
Gorgeous Gorgias.
What a wacko guy that Thoreau was.
They spend their time twiddling their thumbs until the grim reaper comes.
I have a neighbor...well, actually, he's dead now, thank God.
You know nothing, you know nothing, you know nothing.
Our souls at one time dwelt in the halls of innocence and purity. I don't know where that is. Somewhere outside of Pomquet, I imagine.
....some asshole, covered in tattoos, drinks all day, and is cruel to small animals, can be elected.
We are all acorns in a forest, essentially.
There are questions that will drive you to drink. If you're lucky.
He wound the clock and buggered off to another galaxy to try some other species (God).
Dr. McCormick, Treatment of Data in Psychological Research
I don't get many good quotes from stats, these are all of them for the year so far.
T is incredibly robust! It can take these kinds of violations.
'Psychology is where all teh dumb science students escape to.' ...No! I didn't say that!!
Ah yes, the old classic before and after.
People tend to screw up on my first exam not because they're not capable, but because they freak out.
Dr. Lomore, Junior Seminar
Good quotes from here are also pretty rare.
talking about the Nazi medical experiments on prisoners
Lomore: So what was wrong with this ethically?
student: Participation probably wasn't voluntary.
Syphilis, hepatitis, AND tearoom sex study!!
There you go, fellatio and orgasm all in one breath.
First, let me say. If there are three bathroom stalls in a row, who in their right mind goes in and picks the middle stall? You go in, all three are empty, and you pick the middle stall? I walked into the restroom, and this girl was in the middle stall, forcing me to pick a stall next to where she was. If, like a normal person, she had chosen one of the end stalls, I could pick the other end stall, and we wouldn't be in a stall next to each other. But no. She forced me to go into a stall next to her, whoever this girl was, because of her poor stall-picking choices. Wow, I've been calling these stalls the entire time, but now that word sounds completely wrong. Anyways, yes, this is just about one of the weirdest things to decide to care about...possibly ever.
hmm...if this were one of those bathroom stalls where the dividing walls were three inch concrete and went all the way down to the floor and up to the ceiling, that would be fine.
Second, I know everyone and their mother is familiar with Milgram's famous shock experiments, and they're always brought up in discussion of ethics. I can't tell you how many times I've heard how unethical these experiments were, and how they can never be repeated (except for that one guy who semi-replicated them recently with a little twist, but ignore that). They're held up almost as a shining example of ethics violations. However! I would repeat the Milgram experiment in a second. Ethics be damned.
Time for some professorial quotes:
Dr. Watt, Abnormal Psychology
You're worse than offenders. Inmates trust me more than you guys.
We used to be able to do all sorts of wonderful things as psychologists. We gave people LSD and made little babies frightened of white fuzzy things. Those were the good old days, before ethics boards.
There's something fundamentally wrong with me.
I could have a dance in my waiting room (she was talking about how oddly large it is)
I've threatened my husband he's not to post nude photos of me on Facebook is there's a breakup.
Dr. Watt: And what happened?
student: Sprained ankle. It's your fault.
Looong long story short, she ended up in prison (talking about girl's parents who reinforced her behavior by taking her out of school)
Ideas for solution to hypothetical situation on how to get a girl with sudden onset of a fear of flying onto the plane (so clearly the usual options aren't possibilities):
-Just put her in the plane.
-Sedate her and force her in the plane. As long as she's alive it's okay.
-Are you going to induce PTSD to get her there?
-We'll pay for the therapy later!
A really engaging, really bright, quite psychopathic young girl.
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior
Make sure they teach you right. (I don't remember this context at all)
It's pretty hard to see the difference between three and four. You gotta have imagination to see it, and I don't have it. So I just call it three and four. (talking about sleep)
I'm on the way down as far as neuronal growth.
Henke: I'm like a border collie...circling...
student: ...sheep?
Henke: Sheep?! Why sheep? Why not goats?!
DISINHIBITION!!!!!
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
Not you clever people in here, thinking deep thoughts from morning til night, but those wombats out there on the street.
Gorgeous Gorgias.
What a wacko guy that Thoreau was.
They spend their time twiddling their thumbs until the grim reaper comes.
I have a neighbor...well, actually, he's dead now, thank God.
You know nothing, you know nothing, you know nothing.
Our souls at one time dwelt in the halls of innocence and purity. I don't know where that is. Somewhere outside of Pomquet, I imagine.
....some asshole, covered in tattoos, drinks all day, and is cruel to small animals, can be elected.
We are all acorns in a forest, essentially.
There are questions that will drive you to drink. If you're lucky.
He wound the clock and buggered off to another galaxy to try some other species (God).
Dr. McCormick, Treatment of Data in Psychological Research
I don't get many good quotes from stats, these are all of them for the year so far.
T is incredibly robust! It can take these kinds of violations.
'Psychology is where all teh dumb science students escape to.' ...No! I didn't say that!!
Ah yes, the old classic before and after.
People tend to screw up on my first exam not because they're not capable, but because they freak out.
Dr. Lomore, Junior Seminar
Good quotes from here are also pretty rare.
talking about the Nazi medical experiments on prisoners
Lomore: So what was wrong with this ethically?
student: Participation probably wasn't voluntary.
Syphilis, hepatitis, AND tearoom sex study!!
There you go, fellatio and orgasm all in one breath.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Dr. Henke and Dr. Edwards Quotes
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior
a little window popped up asking if the user wanted to install a speech recognition feature
Henke: What's this speech recognition thing do?
class responded: Just say no!
one student explained it...
Henke looked incredulous: ....seriously?
The point is, eh, it's easy. (the class broke out in laughter)
Inside, negative, outside...well, you guessed it. Positive.
Henke: They got all the multiple choice right.
girl in the back says very quietly: Must have been a damn good guesser.
the whole class heard and chuckled for abotu a minute solid
And that's why they call me Easy Pete.
And that's why they call me Diagram Pete. (these last two are golden standards)
someone's phone was making a weird beeping sound
Henke: Is it time to take a pill?
Are you with me?! Some of you are. Some of you are noncommittal.
Henke: So, psychometrically, this test would be considered...you all know psychometrics...this would psychometrically be considered....
Student A: hard?
Henke: ...come on, big distribution of scores, not bimodal....psychometrically this is...(this went on for a looong while)
Student B: WE DON'T KNOW!!
Henke: It discriminates well! You ever thought of that???????
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
How do I know? 'Cause I'm smart as hell.
How am I doing doctor? Well, geeze, I don't know. Could be your leg. Could be your arsehole.
(on why sometimes an imbalance of power is nice, so someone who knows will tell us what to do)
Nothing like the idea of quizzes coming back to make the class go silent. You students are so predictable.
talking about the quizzes...
Some of you went on to say some interesting...well, some reasonably interesting things....
The examples I give are ludicrous and simple....because....that's just the way I am.
I don't want a relativist building my airplane.
You gotta take a few Prozacs if you want to go down that road.
---------------------------------
Are these boring? Eh, whatever, I don't care. I keep track of quotes for fun anyways, and typing them up is almost as fun.
a little window popped up asking if the user wanted to install a speech recognition feature
Henke: What's this speech recognition thing do?
class responded: Just say no!
one student explained it...
Henke looked incredulous: ....seriously?
The point is, eh, it's easy. (the class broke out in laughter)
Inside, negative, outside...well, you guessed it. Positive.
Henke: They got all the multiple choice right.
girl in the back says very quietly: Must have been a damn good guesser.
the whole class heard and chuckled for abotu a minute solid
And that's why they call me Easy Pete.
And that's why they call me Diagram Pete. (these last two are golden standards)
someone's phone was making a weird beeping sound
Henke: Is it time to take a pill?
Are you with me?! Some of you are. Some of you are noncommittal.
Henke: So, psychometrically, this test would be considered...you all know psychometrics...this would psychometrically be considered....
Student A: hard?
Henke: ...come on, big distribution of scores, not bimodal....psychometrically this is...(this went on for a looong while)
Student B: WE DON'T KNOW!!
Henke: It discriminates well! You ever thought of that???????
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
How do I know? 'Cause I'm smart as hell.
How am I doing doctor? Well, geeze, I don't know. Could be your leg. Could be your arsehole.
(on why sometimes an imbalance of power is nice, so someone who knows will tell us what to do)
Nothing like the idea of quizzes coming back to make the class go silent. You students are so predictable.
talking about the quizzes...
Some of you went on to say some interesting...well, some reasonably interesting things....
The examples I give are ludicrous and simple....because....that's just the way I am.
I don't want a relativist building my airplane.
You gotta take a few Prozacs if you want to go down that road.
---------------------------------
Are these boring? Eh, whatever, I don't care. I keep track of quotes for fun anyways, and typing them up is almost as fun.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Quotes that no one else finds funny
Have you guys ever tried the tea that sits in those big things for hours like coffee? Coffee tastes like crap anyways, so it doesn't really matter how long it's been there. But I was forced to get some tea from one of these thingies the other day, and I have discovered that I am a tea snob. It was so gross, I couldn't drink it.
Me as a tea snob is pretty funny, since I know nothing about tea. All I know is that I hate hate hate to oversteep my tea. I barely keep my green tea in for a minute, and other teas no more than two minutes. Granted, these are just little cups, not big teapots full or anything.
My webcam is set up, if anyone feels like a face to face visit.
"God, Nicki, you are such a prostitute!" -a frosh girl yelling down the hall in my dorm
Dr. Watt, Abnormal Psychology
"...and my God, I have no coping skills, and I need to go home and live with my parents."
"...someone ate his apple." -student
"What's going to happen now?"
"I figure he'll get over it." -student
(regarding a thematic apperception test)
"No doubt we can find something for everybody."
(while leafing through the DSM-IV)
edit: The DSM-IV is the book of diagnostics for psychology and psychiatry. It's like the Bible, and it's sickeningly huge, filled with every disorder you could dream up.
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior:
regarding our midterm:
"Will we have choice? You always have choice. At the end of the year I'll tell you about free will and stuff."
"We'll make little anatomists of you, whether you like it or not."
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
"The heads I win, tails you lose theory."
"Here, I've spewed my guts out. How about you sift through my vomit and pick out the gems?"
"The Sunday Christian. Good for two hours a week and spends the rest of the time screwing his neighbor as hard as he can."
"I used to read science fiction, when I was young and stupid."
"...in some sense, the deepest lingering problems of humanity are just like Quebec."
"Treating your children like humans is also anthropomorphism. They're still little beasties, though."
"I read your mental efforts, I laugh, I criticize them, and then I hand them back to you."
"I don't bother arguing with intro students anymore."
"He was a belligerent asshole. If you'd been there, you would have agreed with me. He really needed it from both barrels. Little smartass."
"I'm easy to the point of inertia."
Me as a tea snob is pretty funny, since I know nothing about tea. All I know is that I hate hate hate to oversteep my tea. I barely keep my green tea in for a minute, and other teas no more than two minutes. Granted, these are just little cups, not big teapots full or anything.
My webcam is set up, if anyone feels like a face to face visit.
"God, Nicki, you are such a prostitute!" -a frosh girl yelling down the hall in my dorm
Dr. Watt, Abnormal Psychology
"...and my God, I have no coping skills, and I need to go home and live with my parents."
"...someone ate his apple." -student
"What's going to happen now?"
"I figure he'll get over it." -student
(regarding a thematic apperception test)
"No doubt we can find something for everybody."
(while leafing through the DSM-IV)
edit: The DSM-IV is the book of diagnostics for psychology and psychiatry. It's like the Bible, and it's sickeningly huge, filled with every disorder you could dream up.
Dr. Henke, Brain and Behavior:
regarding our midterm:
"Will we have choice? You always have choice. At the end of the year I'll tell you about free will and stuff."
"We'll make little anatomists of you, whether you like it or not."
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology
"The heads I win, tails you lose theory."
"Here, I've spewed my guts out. How about you sift through my vomit and pick out the gems?"
"The Sunday Christian. Good for two hours a week and spends the rest of the time screwing his neighbor as hard as he can."
"I used to read science fiction, when I was young and stupid."
"...in some sense, the deepest lingering problems of humanity are just like Quebec."
"Treating your children like humans is also anthropomorphism. They're still little beasties, though."
"I read your mental efforts, I laugh, I criticize them, and then I hand them back to you."
"I don't bother arguing with intro students anymore."
"He was a belligerent asshole. If you'd been there, you would have agreed with me. He really needed it from both barrels. Little smartass."
"I'm easy to the point of inertia."
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
quotations
Unlike everything else in this entry, this isn't a quotation, it's just the only thought of mine in this entry.
When some people say, "I'm praying for you," I think, "No you're not."
"I'm thrilled to announce--our brains have arrived!" Brain and Behavior Lab Instructor
"Zeitgeist means flower power?" Girl in my Brain and Behavior class
"Cognitive science is to psychology what creationism is to biology." Dr. Henke (Brain and Behavior)
"One guy by the name of Kluver, another by the name of Bucy. Monkeys." Dr. Henke. What made this quote so great was just the way he stated monkeys. Monkeys.
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology:
"Lots of people who go to church regularly are right bastards."
"It was very trivial. Bizarrely, stupidly, idiotically trivial."
"I'd bring back capital punishment for that son of a bitch." <--man playing music loudly from his car
When some people say, "I'm praying for you," I think, "No you're not."
"I'm thrilled to announce--our brains have arrived!" Brain and Behavior Lab Instructor
"Zeitgeist means flower power?" Girl in my Brain and Behavior class
"Cognitive science is to psychology what creationism is to biology." Dr. Henke (Brain and Behavior)
"One guy by the name of Kluver, another by the name of Bucy. Monkeys." Dr. Henke. What made this quote so great was just the way he stated monkeys. Monkeys.
Dr. Edwards, History and Theory of Psychology:
"Lots of people who go to church regularly are right bastards."
"It was very trivial. Bizarrely, stupidly, idiotically trivial."
"I'd bring back capital punishment for that son of a bitch." <--man playing music loudly from his car
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